Find-A-Grave Helps Us to Find Those With Next of Kin in White Tanks

Today while searching google for White Tanks Cemetery, I came across the White Tanks Cemetery Find A Grave page.  Click Here to Visit the Find A Grave Page for White Tanks Cemetery.

I was impressed at the amount of information that is provided by the website. They are still working on adding people, but there are quite a few on there so far.  I can’t help wondering, while I am scrolling through all of the names, how many of these people have family that are searching for them.  Then it dawned on me, a new phase of my project for White Tanks Angels Foundation could be to search and google these names to see if I can find any information for the names listed on the site.  I know that there are still families out there who have loved ones who are Missing Adults. I am guessing that some of those buried at White Tanks are probably estranged from their families or missing from someone’s life.

The website gives note to which of the grave markers have flowers on them.  That’s nice because it gives me an idea of which ones are tended to and which ones are not! It also has a place where you can volunteer to take photos of the markers and upload them to the find-a-grave site.  Find a grave is a volunteer based project and they allow others to take photos and submit them with the person’s information to their site. I would love to be able to do that, if only I could be in Arizona.  If any of my friends down there in AZ, who already take photos at White Tanks, are interested in participating in this project to help get all of the interments listed on the Find-a-grave site, please let me know!  Obviously, my suggestion would be to start with the graves that we are already caring for…  Start with the ones that you already visit and then maybe move on to others.

I am going to be spending some time trying to reach out to the families of those buried at White Tanks and see if there are any others that we might be able to assist. I know there are so many with broken hearts just like ours.  And just because I am fortunate enough to be able to bring my mother home and remove her from that place, does not mean that I no longer have interest in the White Tanks project. I really feel strongly that some things need to be changed in order to prevent others from ending up in the same place that we have with our loved ones.

I would love to hear you guy’s thoughts on this… And anyone interesting in helping me do some searching for the names and next of kin or taking pictures of the grave markers, please send me an email at cleaning44870@gmail.com or send me a message on FB.

God Bless!

Son, David Nebel, Searches for Father- Only to Find Him at White Tanks Cemetery (yet another broken heart)

I received a comment on the blog and a message via e-mail with a new story about someone else buried at White Tanks. I wanted to share this story with all of you because it sounds like he is experiencing many of the emotions that the rest of us have also experienced. It is my hopes that we might be able to offer him some words of comfort and encouragement. It breaks my heart every time that I read another story about a loved one who has been searched for-- being found DECEASED and buried at WHITE TANKS. It is like I remember the heart break that I felt when I found out- and I relive it over and over again each time I hear someone else describe their feelings upon finding out.

Here is a short snip-it of David's story:

My father was buried in lot 7. His name was/is David, I am David jr. I spent alot of time as a child wondering where my biological father could be. My only encounter with him was living in San Diego and him approaching me in a red cutlass. I remember it like it happened yesterday...I ran because i had no idea who he was. Year's later i found my biological side of the family and when i did my mother finally told me where he had been laid to rest in 08. It came as a large shock! He was gone. All of the pursuit to find him, all of the agony and disappointments (and i will admit a taste for wanting to punch him a good one for being an addict free-spirit). 

There is such a large story to tell...so many fact's that my grandmother has given to me...almost being sold into mexico because of him. I inherited many of his demon's... but, I am also at peace that he is at peace.

Another Mother (Lost Touch With their Daughter) and Ended Up at White Tanks

Due to the fact that I have not been given permission to release the information contained in this story, I am calling this woman Jane Doe and I have taken out all private information regarding her loved one. But it is so important for me to publish and show all of the many many people who come forward regarding their loved ones being at White Tanks.

Original Message from Jane Doe:  hi Miranda, I have not taken any steps to even find out for certain that my mother is buried at white tanks so.... I guess I am just putting it off and know it needs to get started. need a push I guess ?Miranda Answer:  Would you like to give me her info and I can call and check for you. Let me help you. I was paralyzed too from all the disappointments and emotional distress.

Reply message from Jane Doe: That would be wonderful. Her name is: Margie. Born Oct XX, 19XX. She was buried at white tanks Jan 10, 2010. I would like to confirm that it is her there in that grave, as all I have is the pic of her metal grave disk with her name and date of death on it. I don't know how she died, when exactly or why she is buried there. All of her mental and medical records had me listed as next of kin (even though I hadn't talked to her in several years). I don't know how much you could find out, but I would appreciate any info. I was not close with my mother but this has left a hurt in my heart and it may just be that I need the answers ???  You're so good for doing what you do. I will definitely check out ur updates in the next couple of days.

Miranda reply:  That's right... now I am remembering when you originally wrote me and told me your story. Your situation is so similar to mine! Sounds exactly like me and my mom. My mom abandoned me, due to multiple personality disorder and alcoholism, when I was 13 years old. I spent years looking for her. Posting on the internet, calling around, etc... but had not successfully been in contact with her for several years.

Then in 2009, a Private Investigator took on my case for FREE, as a favor from a newly established friend in the Missing Adults network Peace4TheMissing. He went and talked to some people that I had given him information on. See, I broke some laws in a desperate attempt to get information about where my mother was (that is not something I would normally do-- but I really was so absolutely desperate to find her- for her own well being because I was told by the court system that they had her listed as transient (homeless). 

So what I did was hacked into her Credit Report and found that there was a medical collection bill there for critical care received March 2007.  They said that her Mercy Care Plan (insurance) expired February 28, 2007.  I pretended like I was her and called the collection company...  I had them verify for me what the last known addresses were on file because I had not received a bill. They gave me the address which led me to the Westward Ho (where I then sent the private investigator).  After calling the medical examiner's office, I found out that my mother actually had passed away on March 1, 2007. Her friend at the Westward Ho, had received a call from a nurse at Desert Samaritan Hospital-- and was told that my mother was terminal and only had a couple more days to live.

So, I know that the medical records had the correct Social Security number on it for them to have ended up on her credit report.  But when they buried my mother, some how, the funeral home or fiduciary office said that they received no information for social security number from the hospital death records.  They said they only had a date of birth which was listed as 07/18/1955. And somehow, they found a social security number for her, which I do NOT understand-- because it is TOTALLY wrong. And that birth date that they had was a year off- but the correct day and month.So, when I tried to apply for her death certificate, I put her correct date of birth and social security number on there-- and the vital stats office denied me the birth certificate saying that their information and mine didn't match!

So, now the problem that I have is that technically speaking, my mother's social security number still says she is ALIVE! And she has never been registered as deceased. I don't even know how to begin to fix any of that. And I need to apply for her death certificate with the wrong information so that I can at least retrieve it-- because, like you, I have no idea what she died from, although I know where she died. Now that her body is being disinterred and sent home to me, I just need to straighten out the paperwork issues associated with her passing. I need to obtain her death certificate, then apply to have her death certificate changed and then talk to the Social Security Administration to find out how to report her REAL Ohio SS number as deceased.

I am fully aware that not having answers definitely leaves an open wound in your heart and soul. It is like a dark cloud that looms over you, casting a shadow on everything you do in life. I believe that the situation with my mother is much of what has cause my Fibromyalgia and other related medical conditions. I can tell you that getting even SOME of those answers makes it a little easier to cope with a loved one's passing.  So, because I know exactly how you are feeling- I would love to be able to help in providing you with some closure. I will do what I can to try and get you some of those answers. I will make some phone calls either today or Monday.

Love,Miranda

Forms for the Disinterment and Cremation to be sent to me...

My Mother is FINALLY Coming Home! After 18 years, she returns to me...

Today I received the package of papers in the mail that is required to put together a disinterment.  I did not do this, Jeff Knapp did it for me. I had tried to start it numerous times, but even the smallest obstacle that I hit made me devastated-- so I just QUIT! I couldn't do it anymore. I could not emotionally stand to face one more disappointment in regards to my mother or her death. So Jeff, being the angel that he is, picked up the torch for me and carried it... He gathered all the paperwork, made all the phone calls and then packaged everything up and sent it to me.  He ALSO PAID for it IN FULL!  The total process from beginning to finish (being my mother's ashes arriving to my house in the mail) costs a little over $3,100.  I fully intend to speak with Jeff in the coming weeks to get an exact idea of the process that he went through to do this, that way when others come to me asking for help-- I know where to point them.  But for now at least, I can put up pictures of the forms that I have to sign and notarize to have my mother shipped home to me. (See my next blog post for the form pictures)

I have waited to have my mom back home with me since I was 13 years old. I have searched for her... and in finding out about her death and burial at White Tanks, I was devastated, because I felt that I would NEVER get the closure that I need to move on with my life.  I thought she would never be home with me. She would always be stuck there in that barren desert... miles and miles away from me. I would never be able to visit her or go to her resting place to talk with her.  And today, Jeff has made all of that a REALITY for me. Upon receiving the letter and package of papers today, I cried hysterically and uncontrollably for approximately 2 hours. It was as if someone just busted down the damn wall that I had built up over the last five years. All of the tears that I had held in about this... just let loose and there was no stopping it.  

Today is the first day of the rest of my life!  I was dragging my feet on doing stuff for the White Tanks Angels Foundation and helping others in their journeys because I was both physically and emotionally shut down from all the repeated disappointments and devastation.  But today, Jeff has delivered a gift to all of us... he has provided for me what is needed to gain closure and he has given me motivation to see through all of the similar stories stories that I have been presented with.  He has allowed me to see light and hope in all of this and now I can pass that along to others. Before, I was dark and gloomy and had nothing to offer to anyone really.  

I hope that my story will be an inspiration to all of you with loved ones at White Tanks. It is my great hope to begin some fund raising so that I might be able to start giving the much needed closure to others in the same situation as me!  If you are interested in assisting with getting the Foundation up off the ground and on its way to success, please let me know! Any and all assistance will be embraced fully! I am only one person and I can't do it all, although sometimes I think I can ;)
God Bless to All

Chloe, A Daughter Desperate to Bring Her Father Home

Hi Miranda, my name is Chloe and I have been searching for something, anything really on this topic and couldn't find a thing until I came across your blog post. 

My situation is so confusing and I don't mean to bother you. I don't know if you will read this or even respond but if you don't I understand.

My dad passed away a few weeks ago and because of the strange place he was found they took him to the medical examiner, they had to get him finger printed to find out who he was, when they notified me my cousin went and identified him and they said they had to move him to a funeral home because they couldn't keep him there any longer. I then called my funeral home, paid and made arrangements for the funeral for him to be buried next to my grandma and grandpa. I called the funeral home they transferred him to and told them I was his daughter and that I was going to have him transferred. -- The day he was supposed to be transferred I called them and they told me in a very rude way that they buried him that morning at WhiteTanks Cemetery.

It wasn't even 2 days after I had spoke with them. They told me no one had contacted them and there was no next of kin. Then they proceeded to tell me about their "extensive" search for next of kin (I don't know how you can do an extensive search in 48 hours)... but I had talked to them!

Now I have to get a permit to move him to where he belongs and I cant even have a proper funeral or viewing. Its hard enough losing someone you love, but having someone be so heartless and rude-- while telling you they threw him in a box and got rid of him like nothing really hurt me. 

I have no idea what to do and am just looking for anyone to help or give me some kind of advice. Like I said I wont blame you if you don't reply or read this at all. It is just a shot in the dark and I am desperate. Thank you for your time if you do read this. 

Chloe

Update on Miranda and White Tanks

Hey everyone, I just wanted to take a second to tell you that I have been working on constructing some letters to bring awareness to the public fiduciary and related issues with our loved ones being at White Tanks.

Life has been a bit crazy and busy for me lately, but I have not forgotten any of you or about White Tanks and trying to get something done or changed. Mary has given me permission to use her story with Jon, the weight champion, as a person of a status to try and bring some kind of attention to White Tanks.

This cause is dear to my heart and I have not forgotten about it or any of you. However, it takes a long time, lots of writing and contacts to make anything happen. I am looking to start a letter writing campaign. I need for any of you that are interested to please let me know either by replying to this blog, contacting me on FB or sending me an email at cleaning44870@gmail.com

The White Tanks Letter Campaign will be to focus on legislators ordering a review of the policies and related procedures to burying someone at White Tanks. It will also include contacting the funeral homes that work with the public fiduciary to find out what their related policies are and what their experiences are with this. I would like to collaborate a list of the funeral homes that we know are used, but each of you providing me with the name of the funeral home who took care of your loved ones. I am only one person and the letters of one, crazy woman are not going to be enough to make any difference. The purpose of bringing together a group, such as ours, is so that we can be strength in numbers both for supporting each other and also bringing about awareness and change to the situation. I hope to be in contact with each of you individually about your feelings on this! God Bless and keep your heads up! Praying for each of you!

Sincerely,
Miranda Rhuda
White Tanks Angels Foundation




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